Beyond Being a Mom: Your Personal Goals Matter Too

When I decided to start my PhD, my daughter was just two and a half. It was the stage of diapers, short naps, and sometimes sleepless nights. Many moms at that point choose to focus fully on raising their kids—and that’s wonderful—but for me, I felt like I needed something more. I needed to come back to myself, to reconnect with my passions, to keep growing both personally and professionally.

In my case, that goal, that way of coming back to myself, was a PhD (I’ve always loved studying). But it doesn’t have to be something academic or even something big to be meaningful. It can be any goal that makes you feel alive and balanced: taking an art class, learning a new language, starting a business, going back to work part-time, joining a sport, or even training for a race or a tournament. What matters is that it’s something that motivates you, something that reminds you that you’re more than just “mom,” that your identity doesn’t vanish with motherhood.

When I decided to start my PhD, my daughter was just two and a half.

Of course, studying with a little one at home hasn’t been easy. From the beginning I accepted that I wasn’t going to be the “straight-A student”—and that was okay. Turning in work that was solid and good enough, and simply moving forward, was more than sufficient. I learned to let go of perfection and to value what I could do in the middle of it all. That doesn’t mean there weren’t moments of frustration, times when I wished I could keep working on my project but had to stop because of mom duties—and other times when it was the reverse.

But there’s one essential thing I want to highlight: nobody can do this alone. Having a support network is key. And here’s something many moms struggle to accept: there’s nothing wrong with leaving your kids in the responsible care of someone else for a few hours. Whether it’s a grandparent, a friend, a trusted babysitter, or even daycare, it’s okay to delegate so you can have time for yourself. That time doesn’t mean you love your kids any less—it means you also take care of yourself and nurture who you are.

Because at the end of the day, how can we care for our children if we’re not okay ourselves? When a mom feels fulfilled, balanced, and whole, she radiates that same energy to her kids. Contrary to what society often suggests, having personal projects doesn’t compete with motherhood—it enriches it.

Now, as my daughter gets ready to turn five, I’m in my final year of my PhD. If everything goes well, I’ll graduate when she’s six. And beyond the diploma itself, I’m taking with me the lessons, the experiences, and the proof that it is possible to be a mom and still build your own path. Yes, it takes effort, organization, and plenty of support, but it’s one of the best decisions I’ve ever made for myself—and for her, too.

So if you’re reading this and have a project in mind, big or small, I encourage you to take the leap. Do it for yourself—because you deserve it, because your life and your dreams matter too. And do it for your kids as well, because when they see you pursuing what you love, you’re teaching them one of the most valuable lessons of all: that we should never stop living our own lives.